Prepare to sail into a sea of humor with our compilation of 20 marine jokes that will make waves of laughter! Whether you’re a seafarer, a marine enthusiast, or simply a fan of good humor, these naval-themed quips promise to add a splash of fun to your day.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
- Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net.
- What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish.
- How do sea creatures communicate? They use shell-ular phones.
- Why did the shark cross the reef? To get to the other tide.
- What’s a sea monster’s favorite meal? Fish and ships!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
- How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed!
- Why do crabs never share? Because they’re shellfish.
- What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? “I didn’t do it on porpoise!”
- Why don’t whales use Facebook? They can’t keep up with the current events.
- Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
- How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.
- Why are there fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
- Why are seabirds so lucky in love? They always have a gull friend.
- Why are oysters so quiet? They clam up!
- Why was the sand at the beach wet? The sea-weed.
- What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby? “Rock-a-buoy baby.”
- How does a shark greet a fish? “Pleased to eat you!”
- How do marine biologists communicate underwater? They just wave!
- Why don’t seahorses ever get lost? They use sand maps!
- Why was the fish blushing? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
- Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales!
- What did the seaweed say to the sea? “Stop waving, you’re making me sea-sick!”
- Why was the lobster not good at sharing? Because it was a little shellfish.
- How does a dolphin feel when it’s lost? It can’t find its porpoise.
- Why don’t fish play hide and seek? Because they always get caught hook, line and sinker!
- What did the mackerel say to the shrimp? “Don’t be such a beach.”
- How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw!
- Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales!
- What does a mermaid use to call her friends? A shell-phone!
- Why don’t fish play tennis? They’re afraid of nets.
- How do oysters call their friends? On shell-phones.
- What do fish use for money? Sand dollars.
- Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea weed.
- How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a tale.
- What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king fish!
- What do you call a shark that can sing? A shark-uso!
- What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna!
- Why don’t schools of fish ever go on field trips? They might end up in a different school!
- Why do dolphins never feel lost? They always find their porpoise.
- What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny.”
- What do you call a fish that knows addition? An Octo-plus!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but it’s the C they love!
- How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
- Why did the fish stay home from school? He was feeling a little green around the gills.
- Why did the seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a bay-gull!
- What kind of music do whales listen to? Orca-stral!
- Why do mermaids always know the score? They keep up with the current events.
- How does the ocean say hello? It waves!
- Why do fish live in schools? Because they can’t afford tuition for universities!
- What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse? The Codfather!
- What kind of fish perform at a circus? Clown fish!
- What do you call a fish that destroys Japan? Cod-zilla!
- Why did the crab go to jail? Because he was caught pinching!
- What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
- Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
- What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? You can’t tuna fish!
- What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? “Dam!”
- How do you make an octopus giggle ten times? You give it ten tickles.
- Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
- What do you call a fish that only cares about itself? Selfish.
- What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? “Stop being so Pacific.”
- What’s a shark’s favorite sci-fi show? Shark Trek!
- Why did the starfish blush? Because the sea saw its bottom!
- Why was the fish at the bank? He wanted to check his current balance.
- Why don’t whales like to talk in the morning? They don’t want to blubber!
- What kind of photographs do turtles take? Shell-fies.
- How do clams call their friends? On shell-phones.
- What is a fish’s favorite country? Finland!
- What do you call a fish with a crown? A royal catch.
- What is the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you!
- Why did the fish go to Hollywood? He wanted to be a starfish!
- What do you call a fight between film actors? Starfish wars!
- What did the fish say to the wall? “Dam!”
- Why did the whale cross the ocean? To get to the other tide!
- Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the seaweed!
- How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
- What do you get if you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark!
- How do you make an octopus giggle? With ten-tickles!
- What do you call a smelly fish? A stink ray!
- What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something catchy!
- Why are fish such good musicians? They’ve got the scales and the bass!
- What do you call a fish that can play piano? A piano tuna!
- What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan Shark.
- What do fish and maps have in common? Both have scales!
- Why are fish never good tennis players? They have a tendency to get caught in the net.
- What isa shark’s favorite Bible story? Jonah and the Whale!
- What’s a fish’s worst day? Fry-day.
- Why don’t fish play football? They’re afraid of the net!
- How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut off its nose!
- How much does the ocean pay to have its floors cleaned? Nothing, it’s on the house!
- How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clambulance!
- Why was the sand at the beach wet? Because the sea weed!
- Why do fish never know their weight? They have scales, but they just don’t use them!
- What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!
- Why did the crab never share? Because he’s shellfish!
- What does a fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin sea!
- What is a shark’s favorite kind of sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
- Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
- What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock? A hook, line, and stinker!
- What’s a shark’s favorite hobby? Anything he can sink his teeth into!
- What kind of music do fish listen to? Something catchy!
- How do you tune a fish? Adjust its scales!
- Why did the fish always know what was happening? He kept up with the current news!
- How do sea monsters count? Octo-plus!
- Why do whales like to tell jokes? Because they got the blubber to make them wobble!
- What do you call a magic fish? A Trouter-cadabra!
- What is a fish’s favorite game? Salmon says!
- What’s the best way to catch a shark? Swim faster than your friends!
- Why don’t fish like fast food? Because it’s hard to catch!
- What do you call a fish that can perform surgeries? A sturgeon!
- How do you keep a fish from smelling? Plug its nose!
- What do fish use to organize their schools? Class-tuna-tion!
- What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved!
- What’s a mermaid’s favorite mode of transportation? A shell-icopter!
- Why don’t fish ever get lost at sea? Because they always follow the school traffic rules!
- Why do fish always know how they’re feeling? They have constant access to the school nurse!
- What do you call a fish that works in an office? A clerk-fish!
- Why did the fish study business? He wanted to become a shark!
- What do fish listen to while swimming? The current news!
- What did the fish do when his piano sounded off key? He called the piano tuna!
- What does a fish use to keep track of time? A water clock!
- Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!
- What do you call a fish magician? A Trouter-cadabra!
- Why don’t fish like computers? They’re scared of the net!
- What do fish use for money? Sand dollars!
- How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a joke!
- What’s the best way to talk to a fish? Drop it a line!
- What kind of fish goes best with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
- Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk!
- What does a mermaid use to call her friends? A shell phone!
- Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide!
- What do you call a fish that won’t be quiet? A big-mouthed bass!
- How does a group of dolphins make a decision? They flipper coin!
- Why did the lobster turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why do fish avoid the computer? They’re scared of the net!
- What do you call a fish that knows many languages? A polyglot fish!
- How do you communicate with a fish? You drop them a line!
- What did the clam do on his birthday? He shell-ebrated!
- What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool? Show me your mussels!
- What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A beer-a-cuda!
- What do you call a fish with a crown? The king of the sea!
- What kind of fish is famous? A star fish!
- What’s a fish’s favorite show? Whale of fortune!
- Why did the fish go to school? To improve its schooling!
- Why did the fish cross the road? To get to the other tide!
- What do fish and music have in common? Both have scales!
- What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
- What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape!
- How do you tell the gender of a fish? Drop it in water. If it sinks, it’s a girl fish. If it floats, it’s a buoy!
- What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? Dam!
- What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks!
- Why don’t fish like to watch basketball? They get too nervous around the net!
- What do you call a fish that can fix things? A hammerhead shark!
- Why don’t fish pass their exams? Because they work below C-level!
- What do fish smoke? Seaweed!
- How do fish get high? Seaweed!
- What’s a fish’s favorite place to visit? New York, it’s quite a catch!
- What’s a fish’s favorite note? The sea note!
- Why are fish such bad tennis players? They’re afraid of the net!
- What did the fish do when it saw a hook? It dropped its line!
- What do you call a lazy fish? A flounder!
- Why are fish always eating? They just can’t get enough seafood!
- What do you call a fish with a crown? King fish!
- What’s a fish’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good bass line!
- What did one fish say to the other? Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught!
- What’s the easiest way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you!
We hope you’ve enjoyed these marine jokes and they’ve set your laughter afloat! Just like a journey at sea, humor brings joy and unexpected delights. Stay tuned for more comedy content that entertains, amuses, and navigates through the sea of life with a smile.