99 Fin-tastic Fish Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud: The Ultimate Collection

Dive into the sea of humor with our hilarious collection of fish jokes. These jokes are sure to make a splash and reel in the laughs. From guppies to sharks, we have a comedy catch for everyone. So, let’s not flounder around, dive right in!

fish jokes
  1. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
  2. Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net.
  3. Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools!
  4. What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument? A bass drum.
  5. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
  6. What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? Dam!
  7. What do fish use for money? Sand dollars!
  8. Why do fish never know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
  9. What do you get if you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks!
  10. How do fish get high? Seaweed.
  11. Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they come with their own scales!
  12. Why do fish always know how they’re doing? They always take stock of their current situation.
  13. How do fish call for help? They use a shell-phone.
  14. Why are fish never good tennis players? They avoid the net.
  15. What is a fish’s favorite pick-up line? Are you a sea angel, because my heart is swimming towards you.
  16. How do fish say goodbye? “Catch you later!”
  17. Why are fish such bad singers? You can’t tuna fish.
  18. What do you call a fish who knows addition? An octo-plus.
  19. What does a fish wear to keep warm? A fisherman’s sweater.
  20. What do you get when you cross a fish and a banker? A loan shark.
  21. Why are fish always at the top of their class? They’re always above C level.
  22. What do you call a fish magician? A magic carp.
  23. What did one fish say to the other? Keep your mouth shut and you’ll never get caught.
  24. How does a school of fish keep up on gossip? They listen to the current news.
  25. What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish.
  26. Why do fish like to eat worms? Because they get hooked on them!
  27. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king fish.
  28. Why don’t fish play hide and seek? Because they always get found in the school.
  29. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line.
  30. Why don’t fish like fast food? It’s hard to catch.
  1. What do you call a fish that can play guitar? A bassist.
  2. Why are fish easy to talk with? They always take the bait.
  3. What do you get when you cross a fish and a rabbit? A bunny fish.
  4. What do fish use to style their hair? A water comb.
  5. What kind of fish is famous? A star fish.
  6. Why don’t fish like to play cards? The water ruins the deck.
  7. How does a fish get to school? By octo-bus.
  8. Why don’t fish pass their test? Because they work below C level.
  9. What do you call a fish with no tail? A “one eye’d” fish.
  10. What do you call a fish that destroys everything? A destruc-sea-an.
  11. Why don’t fish ever know their weight? They have their own scales.
  12. Why don’t fish ever get lost? They always follow the school.
  13. Why do fish always know what’s going on? They keep their ears to the water.
  14. How do fish shop for groceries? They use a “carp” trolley.
  15. What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.
  16. What kind of fish goes best with peanut butter? A jellyfish.
  17. What do you call a fish that won’t shut up? A blabbermouth bass.
  18. What’s a fish’s favorite country? Finland.
  19. What’s a fish’s favorite TV show? “Wet and Wild”.
  20. What do you call a fish who works in an office? Clerk-fish.
  21. Why do fish stay in their schools? Because they’re all on the same scale!
  22. Why are fish easy to work with? They always go with the flow.
  23. What do you call a fish that knows how to fix things? A hammerhead shark.
  24. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A “fsh”!
  25. How do you invite a fish to a party? Drop it a line!
  26. What do you call a fish that can do math? Algae-bra!
  27. How do fish get to school? By riding a clam bus!
  28. Why don’t fish like to play basketball? They’re afraid of the net.
  29. What kind of fish is always grumpy? A crab!
  30. What do fish read to gain knowledge? Encyclo-pee-dia.
  31. What do you get when you cross a fish and a rabbit? A hare-ing!
  32. Why don’t fish play soccer? They’re afraid of the net.
  33. What do fish use to measure their temperature? A ther-mometer.
  34. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A kingfish.
  35. Why don’t fish go on vacation? Because they’re already in schools!
  36. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  37. What do you call a fish with no legs? A fish!
  38. What do you get when you cross a fish and a snowman? Frostbite!
  39. What do fish use to cut paper? A scallop!
  40. Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk!
  41. What do you call a fish that knows a lot of songs? A tune-a fish.
  42. Why don’t fish play computer games? They’re afraid of the net.
  43. What did the fish say to the wall? Dam!
  44. What do you call a fish that works in a hospital? A sturgeon!
  45. How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole? With your bear hands!
  46. What kind of fish is always sad? A blue gill.
  47. How do fish get from place to place? By riding the sea-nic route!
  48. What do you call a fish that can see in the dark? A flashlight fish!
  49. What do you call a fish that’s been knighted? Sir Loin of Fish!
  50. Why don’t fish like playing hide and seek? They always get caught hook, line, and sinker.
  51. What kind of fish goes well with ice cream? A jellyfish!
  52. What do you call a fish that’s good at acting? A starfish!
  53. Why are fish always on time? They don’t want to flounder around!
  54. Why do fish like to eat worms? Because they’re hooked on them!
  55. How does a fish feel when it’s sick? Clammy!
  56. What do you call a fish with a crown? A royal flush!
  57. What do you get when you cross a fish and a dog? A fish that barks!
  58. What do you call a fish that can play the piano? A tuna fish!
  59. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam!
  60. Why do fish stay in schools? Because they can’t walk to school!
  61. How do fish keep their valuables safe? In a clam bank!
  62. What kind of fish only comes out at night? A starfish!
  63. Why do fish like playing card games? They like to play “Go Fish”!
  64. Why do fish always know how they are feeling? They don’t keep their feelings bottled up, they always let them out in the open sea!
  65. How do fish sleep? With their eyes open!
  66. What do you call a fish that doesn’t have a girlfriend? A sole fish!
  67. What kind of fish is always rude? A sarcastic fringehead!
  68. How do you tell a fish’s age? By its scales!
  69. Why do fish swim in schools? To get a better education!

That’s the end of our fish joke expedition! We hope these aquatic quips had you laughing like a seal. Remember, humor makes everything go swimmingly. Share these jokes around and get your friends and family hooked on the fun. Stay tuned for more laughs and giggles!