Make your celebration of love even more joyful with our collection of hilarious wedding jokes. These quips are crafted to bring humor and warmth, perfect for speeches, cards, or simply sharing a laugh with your loved ones. Get ready to add an extra touch of sparkle and laughter to your unforgettable day!
- Why don’t they ever play hide and seek at weddings? Because good luck hiding when you’re dressed like a cake!
- Marriage is an institution where a man loses his Bachelor’s degree, and the woman gets her Master’s.
- Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
- Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
- Is it still considered single if you’ve eaten wedding cake three times this year?
- Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
- Marriage: A relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband.
- A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
- The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.
- I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Why are all wedding speeches so warm? Because all the toasts are heated.
- Behind every great man, there’s a surprised woman.
- Why did the groom put a ladder in his pocket? He heard it’s good to always have steps to success close by.
- “Do you, groom, take this bride to be your wedded wife?” “I do.” “Really? Wow, you’re brave.”
- When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.
- The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.
- The best way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it once.
- Why do brides always wear white? Because it’s good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
- Wedding rings: the world’s smallest handcuffs.
- I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Why don’t husbands ever die before their wives? Because they want to.
- Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
- My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
- How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
- After the chime of wedding bells, the clatter of dishes will follow.
- If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
- Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you might meet that night.
- Why does the bride always carry a bouquet? So she has something to hold on to while the groom is carrying on.
- Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
- What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? About 30 pounds.
- “I do” are the two most famous last words.
- Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
- What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.
- The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
- I never knew what real happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late.
- What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
- A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.
- Why does a man want his wedding to be perfect? Because it’s his only shot at dressing better than the bride.
- Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
- Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time.
- My wife is a psychologist…not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.
- Why don’t most men re-marry? Because they’ve finally remembered where they left their stuff.
- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
- My husband told me he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
- Why do married people gain weight? Because you eat dinner together, finish off the kids’ plates and every night is date night.
- Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her master’s degree.
- Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.
- Marriage is grand… and divorce is about 10 grand.
- The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
- Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.
- Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
- Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
- My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
- I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
- Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
- Why do married people look heavier? Because they carry a lot of extra weight…like the secrets of their spouse.
- Why do brides cry at their weddings? They never marry the best man.
- Why is marriage like a nice suit? At first it’s a perfect fit, but after a while you need alterations.
- If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.
- Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?
- Why don’t married people mind being called “old ball and chain? Because it’s better than being the “old golf club and golf ball”.
- All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
- Why is a wife like a hand grenade? Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
- If a man says his wife can’t take a joke, he should remember that she took him.
- Why did the bride wear a baseball cap to her wedding? She didn’t want to strike out on her big day.
- Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist.
- Why do husbands die before their wives? They want to.
- Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
- I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it’s around the husband’s neck.
- My wife told me the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman, useless surgeon.
- Why is a wedding ceremony a sad event for all your friends? Because they aren’t next.
- The secret of a happy marriage is still a secret to all husbands.
- The best part of a wedding is the cake. Unfortunately, it’s also the part that sticks around the longest.
- Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
- Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents.
- Why do men get married? So they don’t have to hold their stomachs in any more.
- Why are husbands like cars? They always need to be replaced.
- Marriage is the only kind of fire which is not covered by insurance.
- Why do brides always wear white? So that the dishwasher matches the stove and refrigerator.
- A wife will always forgive and forget – but she’ll never let you forget that she has forgiven and forgotten.
- A bachelor is a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
- Weddings are funerals where you smell your own flowers.
- Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
- An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
We hope these wedding jokes added an extra layer of cheer to your special day! Remember, laughter is an essential ingredient in any celebration. Feel free to share these jokes with your loved ones to keep the mirth flowing. Stay tuned for more compilations that promise to make every occasion a joyous celebration filled with laughter.