100 Cringe-Worthy Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Against Your Will

Welcome to the universe of cringe-worthy dad jokes that are so bad, they’re actually good. Brace yourself for an avalanche of puns, one-liners, and gags that will make you groan out loud and laugh in spite of yourself. These dad jokes are the epitome of cheesy humor that somehow always manages to tickle our funny bone. Ready for a laugh riot?

1. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re scared of the bass clef.
2. Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels.
3. I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson. He said, “But dad, your name is Steve?” I replied, “Yes, but I was named after him.”
4. I had a dream I was a muffler, I woke up exhausted.
5. I told my wife I felt like a deck of cards. She said, “I’ll deal with you later.”
6. If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
10. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
11. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They could crack up.
12. I would tell a time travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
13. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
14. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
15. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
16. I asked my dad for his best dad joke, and he said, “You.
17. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
18. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
19. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
20. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
21. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
22. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
23. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
24. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
25. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
26. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
27. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
28. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
29. Why don’t we tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
30. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
31. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
32. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he always stood for what he strawed for.
33. My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said, “Maybe…”
34. I told my son to stop running in circles, he couldn’t. He’s too round.
35. I was going to tell a joke about infinity, but it doesn’t have an end.
36. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
37. Why don’t hairbrushes ever lose at poker? They always go straight.
38. My son asked me if I got a haircut. I said, “No, I got them all cut.”
39. Why did the melon go to the wedding? Because it cantaloupe.
40. I got a job as a baker because I kneaded dough.
41. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
42. I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with. She said, “Yes, the others were nines and tens.”
43. My wife said she wanted to see the world. I bought her a globe.
44. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A Maybe.
45. Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets.
46. Why was the math test so sad? It had too many problems.
47. Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? It’s two-tired.
48. What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
49. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A king fish.
50. What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s got tiny legs.
51. My son said, “Dad, you haven’t listened to one word I’ve said.” I thought, “That’s a strange way to start a conversation.”
52. Why was the math book always worried? It had too many problems.
53. I told my son to stop pretending to be flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
54. What do you call a donkey with only three legs? A wonky.
55. What’s a football team’s favorite type of tea? Penal-tea.
56. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in-tents.
57. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
58. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
59. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
60. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s ‘R’ but it’s the ‘C’ they love.
61. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
62. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
63. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
64. I always wanted to go to the sun. But then I realized I’d just get there around nighttime.
65. I was going to share a vegetable joke but it’s corny.
66. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
67. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
68. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
69. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
70. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
71. Why did the math book look sad? Because of all of its problems!
72. I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
73. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
74. Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
75. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
76. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
77. I would tell a dad joke, but I don’t think it’s the father time.
78. I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end, I liked it.
79. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
80. I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
81. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
82. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
83. I would tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
84. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
85. How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
86. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
87. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in-tents!
88. I have a joke about a broken pencil, but it’s pointless.
89. My son asked me to put his shoes on, but I don’t think they’ll fit me.
90. I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.
91. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
92. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
93. I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
94. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
95. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They could crack up.
96. What’s a football team’s favorite type of tea? Penal-tea.
97. My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said, “Maybe…”
98. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in-tents.
99. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
100. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing,

So there you have it, our hilarious collection of cringe-worthy dad jokes. They may make you shake your head in disbelief, but we’re sure they also brought a smile to your face. Because, let’s face it, a world with more laughter is always a better place. Keep coming back to us for more delightful doses of cringe and chuckles, because laughter truly is the best medicine!