175 Unforgettable Wine Puns to Make You Smile and Sigh

Savor the flavor of humor with these hand-selected wine puns, designed to tickle the palate of any wine lover. This entertaining compilation is the perfect pairing for your next glass of merlot or chardonnay. Raise your glass to wit, laughter, and all the vinous charm that only the world of wine can offer.

1. Why do we tell secrets in a vineyard? Because the grapes have clusters, but they never spill the wine.
2. I heard it through the grapevine that wine improves with age. I improve with wine!
3. I tried to come up with a wine joke, but I had no pour judgement.
4. Why did the Riesling break up with the Merlot? It heard it was seeing a Pinot on the side.
5. Wine not? Said the grape before it was crushed.
6. Why was the wine bottle nervous? It was about to go through a crushing experience.
7. Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.
8. Life is full of pour decisions. Wine is just one of them.
9. Why did the wine glass blush? It saw the dinner salad dressing!
10. I’d say my love for wine is on a Pinot-to-no end scale.
11. Red or white, wine always puts me in a grape mood.
12. I’ve got a bottle of wine and a feeling that tonight’s going to be vine.
13. Why do we call them wine glasses? Isn’t every glass a potential wine glass?
14. Why did the wine go to school? To become a bit more refined.
15. Do you believe in love at first sip or should I pour you another?
16. What’s a wine’s favorite sport? Sip diving.
17. I have sophisticated tastes. I only cry into expensive wine.
18. What do you call a group of wine lovers? A cluster.
19. They call it a “wine cellar” because I’m not allowed to call it “my sanctuary”.
20. What do you call a nervous wine? A Chardonnay on the edge.

21. If I ever go missing, put my picture on wine labels. My friends will find me faster.
22. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of wine!
23. I’ve got a really dry sense of humor. It pairs well with a dry white.
24. Why did the wine go to the party? To have a grape time!
25. Wine is win with an ‘e’ on the end. Coincidence? I think not.
26. I don’t have a bucket list, but my wine list is a mile long.
27. Do you know a wine’s favorite day of the week? Winesday!
28. What do you call a wine who lost its sparkle? A has-been.
29. What’s a bottle of wine’s motto? Sip me baby, one more time!
30. Why don’t grapes ever fight? They prefer to wine it out.
31. I have joy in my heart and a glass of wine in my hand. Coincidence? I think not.
32. Where does a wine bottle go when it’s empty? Anywhere it wants, it’s a free spirit!
33. It’s a marvelous night for a moon dance, and a glass of Cabernet.
34. The secret to enjoying a good wine: 1. Open the bottle 2. Allow it to breathe. 3. If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
35. Why was the wine always getting lost? It took the wrong route!
36. I heard some wines are very good in math, especially those with high degrees of complexity.
37. What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
38. Why did the grape turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
39. A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine. It’s possible, but who wants it?
40. Why do wine lovers guzzle their glass? Because sip happens!
41. What do you call a wine that’s made it big? A star in the pour business.
42. Wine: because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
43. I’m on cloud wine.
44. Why do sommeliers never feel full? Because they wine and dine.
45. I am just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a bottle of wine.
46. Decanting a wine? It’s a pour decision!
47. Why did the bottle of white wine blush? Because it saw the red wine vinegar!
48. What do you call an easy-going wine? A smooth operator.
49. Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.
50. The wine bottle said to the cork, “I’ve got you covered.”
51. Can I borrow a corkscrew? Mine broke off in the bottle.
52. The first sip is joy, the second is gladness, the third is serenity, the fourth is madness.
53. Why are wines good listeners? Because they’re all ears when you uncork a bottle.
54. What’s a wine’s favorite exercise? Crunches. They always end in a cork pop.
55. I’d say wine is my top pour-iority.
56. I asked my doctor if I should drink wine after coffee, he said, “That’s a brew-tiful idea.”
57. What’s a sommelier’s favorite music? Jazz, because it’s all about the notes.
58. What did the Merlot say to the Cabernet? You’re so full-bodied!
59. What’s a ghost’s favorite wine? Ghoul-lee.
60. I never discriminate against wines. I love both red and white!
61. I’d tap that! Said no wine lover ever about boxed wine.
62. I don’t normally cook with wine. Occasionally, I even put it in the food!
63. If you can’t remember the last time you had a glass of wine, it’s obviously time to have another one.
64. Why was the grape always upset? It was tired of all the wine-ing.
65. Wine lovers don’t have alcohol problems. They have solution problems!
66. I like my jokes like I like my wine – full of character and slightly complex.
67. What’s a book club without wine? Just a library meeting.
68. Some people say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d say it’s wine.
69. I tried cooking with wine for the first time. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was in the kitchen.
70. The best wines are the ones we drink with friends.
71. I’m on a grape diet. I’ve already lost two days.
72. Wine is like the duct tape of life. It fixes everything.
73. If wine were a movie, it would be “Gone in 60 Seconds.”
74. What’s a wine lover’s favorite song? Red, Red Wine!
75. Wine flies when you’re having fun.
76. Why did the glass of wine go to the bar? Because it didn’t want to be decanted anymore.
77. Wine lovers never whine when they wine.
78. Drinking good wine with good food in good company is life’s most civilized pleasures.
79. If at first, you don’t succeed, try drinking a glass of wine. Your ideas will not get better, but at least you will feel like they have.
80. I have mixed drinks about feelings. For example, I mix my feelings with wine.
81. A glass of wine a day keeps the doctor away, especially if you aim well.
82. I’m not old, I’m finely aged like a great wine.
83. What’s a vampire’s favorite type of wine? A red blend.
84. I’ve never met a grape I didn’t like.
85. Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring wine.
86. Why did the grapes go out together? Because they had a crush on each other.
87. In dog wines, I’ve only had one.
88. I’m saving water by drinking wine.
89. A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
90. I’ve just finished a bottle of wine, it didn’t say on the label I couldn’t drink it all at once.
91. Wine gets better with age, and I get better with wine.
92. To me, “Drink Responsibly” means don’t spill it.
93. Age gets better with wine.
94. They should put more wine in a bottle… so it’s enough for two people.
95. What do you call a person who drinks white wine? A wino-saur.
96. Wine is the answer… What was the question?
97. Wine makes all things possible.
98. Wine is like duct tape, it fixes everything.
99. You know you’re a wine lover when you need a corkscrew more than a pen.
100. I just rescued some wine, it was trapped in a bottle!
101. Phew! That’s a lot of wine puns. Let’s continue:
102. They should put serving sizes on wine labels. It’s like, “This bottle serves 1 sad woman.”
103. Wine doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean… against walls, chairs, floors.
104. I can’t afford a vacation, so I’m just going to drink until I don’t know where I am.
105. Whoever said laughter is the best medicine obviously never tried wine.
106. Friends bring happiness into your life, best friends bring wine.
107. Wine is like push-up bras for your personality.
108. I tried to say no to the wine, but it just didn’t listen.
109. I’m not having a glass of wine, I’m having six. It’s called a tasting and it’s classy.
110. What do you call a wine that’s not yours? Nacho Wine.
111. Wine a bit, you’ll feel better.
112. Good friends offer advice, real friends offer wine.
113. Remember, in wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, and in water there is bacteria.
114. It’s Friday, so I started with coffee and ended with wine.
115. When you get a headache from drinking wine, it’s your body’s way of saying you need to hydrate. With wine.
116. I always cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.
117. Of course size matters! Nobody wants a small glass of wine.
118. Wine: because therapy is expensive.
119. Life’s too short to drink bad wine.
120. I don’t know what reception I’m at but for God’s sake, give me a glass of wine.
121. Love the wine you’re with.
122. Wine improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.
123. I’m on cloud wine.
124. Wine not?
125. Don’t cry over spilled milk. It could have been wine.
126. Save the earth, it’s the only planet with wine.
127. Wine: how classy people get drunk.
128. Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass, and I’ll be just fine.
129. I make wine disappear. What’s your superpower?
130. When life gives you lemons, sell them and buy wine.
131. I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
132. Women are like wine, they get better with age.
133. A day without wine is like… Just kidding, I have no idea.
134. A meal without wine is called breakfast.
135. My doctor says I need glasses… of wine.
136. Keep calm and pour on.
137. Wine… because no great story starts with a salad.
138. Wine is the answer… wait, what was the question?
139. Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.
140. Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
141. Wine… because you never got a pony.
142. I don’t have a drinking problem. I’m just really good at it.
143. Today’s forecast: 100% chance of wine.
144. No one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep… and no wine.
145. Wine, it’s what’s for dinner.
146. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
147. Wine me up and watch me go.
148. I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
149. Wine is bottled poetry.
150. I tried to think of a clever wine joke, but I had a pour result.
151. Wine is like liquid laughter.
152. I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
153. Any port in a storm, as long as it’s a wine port.
154. Remember the old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink wine.
155. If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up at a wine bar.
156. You know what rhymes with Friday? Wine.
157. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life has handed them vodka and have a party.
158. My body is a temple. I just happen to offer wine as a sacrifice.
159. I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
160. Wine pairs nicely with good friends.
161. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy wine, and that’s kind of the same thing.
162. A meal without wine is breakfast.
163. Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.
164. Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
165. Wine is life.
166. One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.
167. Wine is to women as duct tape is to men… it fixes everything.
168. Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.
169. In wine there’s truth.
170. Wine is the only artwork you can drink.
171. If you see a friend without a smile, give him one of yours.
172. Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
173. Friends and wine… the older, the better.
174. Wine… it’s win with an ‘e’ on the end.
175. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine and that’s kind of the same thing.

Well, those were some fantastic wine puns to keep your spirits high! Remember, laughter is like wine; it gets better with time. So, come back whenever you need a chuckle or to find that perfect pun to use at your next wine tasting. Here’s a toast to laughter, good company, and excellent wine!