Monday blues got you down? Fear not, our collection of Monday jokes is here to inject your week with a healthy dose of humor. These hilarious takes on the most dreaded day of the week are bound to make you smile. So gear up, and let’s turn Monday frowns into laughs.
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a Monday? Because they might tell Tuesday.
- I tried to seize the day, but it was Monday, and it seized me first!
- Monday has been officially renamed as “pre-pre-pre-pre Friday”.
- How does Monday say hello? “Hi, I’m the reason you have a snooze button.”
- Monday: the day when your alarm clock turns into a horror movie soundtrack.
- Monday’s motto: “I may arrive late, but I make up for it by leaving early!”
- If Monday was a person, it would be the one who ate the last slice of pizza.
- They say every day is a gift, but can we return Monday?
- “I’m not a Monday person,” said everybody, every Monday.
- Monday: it always arrives when you’re having a ‘week’-end.
- I call my coffee “Monday morning survival juice”.
- Why don’t Mondays work in an office? Because it always brings everyone down.
- Monday called. I told it to go back to sleep.
- What’s Monday’s favorite exercise? The push-down of the weekend.
- If Monday was a movie, it would be rated “R” for reluctant.
- Monday always feels like the longest day of the week, except it’s not even leap year!
- Why did Monday break up with Sunday? Because it couldn’t stand the weekend pressure!
- Monday’s to-do list: drink coffee, survive.
- Why are computers like a Monday morning? Both have too many bytes and not enough coffee.
- Monday, why can’t you be as cool as Friday?
- I would swap a thousand Mondays for one Friday.
- Who stole the weekend? Oh, it was Monday again!
- Monday is like the annoying friend who shows up uninvited and stays too long.
- What did the Monday say to the coffee? “I need you!”
- Monday has its own gravitational pull. It’s called “bed gravity”.
- My Monday morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on the bed and thinking, “do I really need this job?”
- What did Sunday say to Monday? “Enjoy your reign of terror while it lasts!”
- The best part about Monday is… nothing.
- Monday mornings are like a game of tag – you’re always ‘it’.
- I’ve got 99 problems, and 98 of them are because it’s Monday.
- Why did Monday cross the road? Because it thought it could make the other side miserable, too!
- Monday: the day even my coffee needs a coffee.
- On Monday mornings, I channel my inner sloth.
- Monday’s forecast: 100% chance of coffee and grumpiness.
- Why don’t Monday mornings come with a fast-forward button?
- If Monday were a math problem, it would be an equation with no solution.
- Monday: because life doesn’t come with a pause button.
- Why did the Monday get a promotion? Because it always brings everyone back to reality!
- I think Monday is in love with me. It can’t seem to stay away.
- Why are Monday mornings like a bad haircut? Because you just want them to be over!
- Why did the weekend break up with Monday? It couldn’t handle the long-distance relationship!
- When you can’t find the sunshine, be the sunshine. Unless it’s Monday.
- I’m having a case of the Mondays, on a Tuesday.
- Why is Monday like a noisy neighbor? It always shows up too early and too loudly.
- If Monday was a gift, I’d exchange it for a Friday.
- On a Monday, even my coffee is having a hard time waking up.
- They say you can’t choose your family. The same goes for Monday.
- Monday: The day my alarm clock becomes a horror movie monster.
- Why did Monday go to the therapist? It felt unappreciated!
- Monday should come with a mute button.
- The only thing more predictable than a Monday is the grumpiness that accompanies it.
- Monday: when your alarm clock laughs at your dreams.
- If Monday was a book, it’d be the one I purposely leave on the shelf.
- Why do we call it “Monday” and not “Can-we-skip-this-day?”
- Monday: proof that the universe has a sense of humor.
- If you thought dragons were scary, you haven’t met Monday yet.
- Monday: the day I spend more time hitting the snooze button than getting ready.
- Monday, I’ve put your stuff in boxes. It’s time to move out!
- Monday is the guest who arrives too early at the party.
- Mondays should be optional, like pants.
- What’s a Monday’s favorite drink? Espresso yourself!
- Monday’s forecast: cloudy with a chance of grumpiness.
- Mondays are like that one piece of broccoli you try to avoid on your plate.
- What’s Monday’s favorite band? Moody Blues.
- Monday is the ugly duckling of the week.
- Monday and I have a love-hate relationship. I hate it, and it loves to annoy me.
- If Monday were a color, it would be gray.
- Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.
- Monday called. It wants its reputation back.
- Monday, I’d like to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.
- Monday’s motto: “If at first you don’t succeed, try ruining everyone else’s day.”
- Monday’s favorite exercise? Running out of patience.
- The only thing scarier than a Monday is seeing it on your calendar.
- Monday: The only day of the week that comes with its own blues.
- What do Monday and a haunted house have in common? They both make you want to scream!
- Monday mornings: proof that time travel isn’t possible yet.
- Why does Monday wear sunglasses? Because its future is not so bright!
- I don’t have a problem with Mondays. It’s my job that has a problem with me.
- If Monday was a person, it would be the one who spoils the end of every movie.
- If I were a superhero, my arch-nemesis would be Monday.
- Even the calendar says “WTF” after Monday.
- Monday, you are the reason I have trust issues.
- Monday: when your bed feels like a magnet to your body.
- Monday, we need to talk. It’s not me, it’s you.
- Why did Monday bring a ladder to work? To let everyone down, of course!
- Monday: proof that even time has a dark side.
- Why does Monday work at a fast food restaurant? It loves to serve up a helping of reality!
- Monday’s are like a celebrity: you see them too often, and they’re full of drama.
- What’s Monday’s favorite song? “Wake Me Up When It’s All Over!”
- Monday and I are in a long-term relationship, but I’m seeing Friday on the side.
- Monday is the reason my coffee cup is bottomless.
- Monday: when my bed has more gravity than usual.
- If Monday were a sport, it’d be the marathon you never trained for.
- Monday is the root canal of the week.
- Monday, you make me wish I had more sick days.
- Monday: the biggest speed bump on the road to Friday.
- Why did Monday apply for a job at the gym? Because it loves giving reality checks!
- If Monday was a holiday, it would be Tax Day.
- Monday is the “fun police” of the week.
- Why does Monday always arrive when you’re having a weak-end?
We hope our Monday jokes have helped shake off those start-of-the-week blues and put a smile on your face. Remember, laughter is a great way to start any day, especially Mondays! Keep coming back for more uplifting humor to keep your spirits high, even when the calendar says it’s time to get back to work.