80+ Bagel Puns That Are Deliciously Funny

Welcome to our delightful assortment of bagel puns that are sure to leave you rolling with laughter. Just like the perfect bagel, these puns are well-rounded, filled with flavor, and always leave you wanting more. Whether you’re a fan of everything bagels, sesame, poppy seed, or plain, these puns are kneaded to perfection to tickle your funny bone. Let’s take a bite into this humor feast.

1. Why don’t bagels get sunburnt? They always have enough lox!
2. What do bagels use to write their resumes? Microsoft Dough-word.
3. What did the confused bagel say? “I’m feeling a little round the bend.”
4. What do you call a cat that eats a lot of bagels? Purrrr-gel.
5. Why did the bagel break up with the donut? There was too much hole-drama.
6. Why was the bagel a great boxer? It always went for the roundhouse kick!
7. What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise? The roll out.
8. How do bagels navigate? They follow the bread crumbs.
9. How did the bagel fix its house? With cream cheese and lox.
10. Why was the bagel so proud? It had just been promoted to upper crust!
11. What do you call a rich bagel? A dough-llionaire.
12. What do you call a bagel that can sing? A bagel-tone.
13. Why did the bagel get a promotion? It was on a roll.
14. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of math? Ge-ome-try.
15. How do bagels like to relax? With a nice schmear of cream cheese.
16. Why do bagels never lose at tennis? They’ve mastered the serve and volley.
17. How do bagels say hello in England? “Nice to wheat you!”
18. Why was the bagel blushing? It saw the toaster naked.
19. What did the bagel say to the door? “Bagel-ieve it, I’m here!”
20. Why was the bagel upset at the casino? He lost all his dough.
21. What do you call a nervous bagel? All-buttered up.

22. Why do bagels make horrible secret agents? They always spill the beans.
23. What’s a bagel’s favorite dance move? The Twist.
24. Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had too many rolls to fill.
25. What did the bagel say to the butter? “I can’t believe you’re not cream cheese!”
26. What’s a bagel’s favorite music? Roll-n-Roll.
27. How do you catch a bagel? Use cream cheese as bait.
28. What does a bagel do when it’s locked out? Calls a dough-smith.
29. What did the bagel say to the elevator? “Going up? Wheat me too!”
30. Why was the bagel feeling generous? It wanted to give dough-nations.
31. What do you call a dramatic bagel? A scene-rye-der.
32. How do you tell a bagel’s future? Read its palm-rye.
33. Why did the bagel join the circus? It wanted to be the ring-leader.
34. What do you call a bagel that’s gone bad? A stinky cheese bagel.
35. What does a bagel say when it’s surprised? “Oh, my grains!”
36. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It felt crumby.
37. What do you call a popular bagel? A roll model.
38. What does a bagel do for a living? It kneads dough.
39. How do bagels like to travel? By plane- bagel.
40. Why was the bagel in the orchestra? It had the perfect pitch.
41. Why do bagels make good detectives? They always go against the grain.
42. Why did the bagel cross the road? To get to the other side of the bread.
43. Why was the bagel so good at chess? It was always one move a-rye-d.
44. What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Dough-ball.
45. How does a bagel get its morning news? From the bread-cast.
46. Why did the bagel break up with its girlfriend? She was too kneady.
47. What’s a bagel’s favorite part of a joke? The punch-rye-n.
48. Why was the bagel an actor? It loved the stage and rye-ghts.
49. What does a bagel call its significant other? My butter half.
50. Why did the bagel get all the attention? It had all the right curves.
51. What does a bagel say when it’s feeling great? “I’m on a roll!”
52. Why did the bagel go to the bakery? To feel kneaded.
53. What did the bagel say to the egg? “Let’s roll together!”
54. What’s a bagel’s favorite drink? Roll-ling Rock.
55. Why did the bagel go to the concert? It had a rye-p for music.
56. Why was the bagel good at sales? It knew how to dough the deal.
57. What’s a bagel’s favorite part of a tree? The bark-ery.
58. What do you call a fast bagel? A roll-y fast.
59. Why did the bagel become a banker? It was good at rolling in dough.
60. What did the bagel say to its lover? “I knead you!”
61. Why did the bagel break its diet? It couldn’t resist a good roll.
62. How does a bagel ask someone out? “Roll with me?”
63. What’s a bagel’s favorite dance? The twist and roll.
64. Why did the bagel go to the gym? It wanted to work on its rolls.
65. What did the sesame bagel say to the plain bagel? “You’re missing out on the seedier side of life!”
66. What do you call a trendy bagel? A hipster roll.
67. Why did the bagel apply for a job? It was tired of loafing around.
68. What does a bagel do on its birthday? It throws a roll-ing party.
69. Why did the bagel get an award? It was on a roll at work.
70. What’s a bagel’s favorite movie? “Roll-ywood Nights.”
71. Why was the bagel good at baseball? It always hit a home-rye-n.
72. Why did the bagel start meditating? It wanted to find inner peas.
73. How does a bagel get a promotion? By rising to the occasion.
74. What did the bagel say after the race? “That was a roll-ercoaster!”
75. What’s a bagel’s favorite crime show? “Law & Order: Special Bread Unit.”
76. Why do bagels make great companions? They’re always there to lend a shoulder to rye on.
77. What did the bagel say to the mirror? “I’m loaferly!”
78. Why did the bagel go on a diet? It felt too round.
79. How does a bagel ask for a hug? “Can I have a squeeze, please?”
80. What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You’re really heating things up!”
81. Why did the bagel love the opera? It was all about the high notes.

And that’s the end of our humorous journey through the world of bagel puns. We hope they added a dash of fun to your day, just like a well-made bagel adds flavor to breakfast. Keep coming back for more food pun fun, because life, like a good bagel, is better with a hearty spread of laughter on top.