100 High-Speed Car Jokes Guaranteed to Ignite Your Laughter

Fasten your seat belts and get ready for a joy ride with our collection of car jokes that will get your gears grinding with laughter. Whether you’re a car enthusiast, mechanic, or simply someone in need of a good laugh, these jokes are sure to rev up your mood. Enjoy the comedic journey with our hilarious, motor-mouthed puns!

1. Why don’t cars ever get lost? They always follow the road map.
2. Why did the car apply for a job? It wanted to quit being a gas guzzler.
3. How do cars flirt? They brake the ice.
4. I once dated a car… it didn’t work out because it was always too tired.
5. What type of car does a Jedi drive? A Toy-Yoda.
6. My car’s GPS has started lying to me. I guess I need a truthanav.
7. How do you make a car top? Tickle its undercarriage.
8. What’s a car’s favorite meal? Brake-fast.
9. My car doesn’t run on gas, it runs on fear.
10. What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing.
11. Did you hear about the car that got an award? It was outstanding in its field.
12. What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas? A Ford Siesta.
13. My car and I have something in common, we both wheeze when we run.
14. What’s a car’s favorite type of music? Brake-beat.
15. Why did the car get a flat tire? It went on a bumpy road trip.
16. What kind of vehicle is never sleepy? A wake-van.
17. What’s a car’s favorite day of the week? Vroom-day.
18. What do cars do at the disco? Brake dance.
19. Why did the car go to school? To get a little bit smarter.
20. I bought a car from a gardener, but it’s always backfiring, guess it was a plant.

21. What type of shoes does a car wear? Vans.
22. What do you call a car with a lot of debt? A sub-“loan”-er.
23. My car has a great sound system, it’s always on treble.
24. Why did the car get an award? It was the wheely best.
25. I took my car to the bar, it had a few too many shots of oil.
26. Why don’t cars get bored? They always auto-occupy themselves.
27. What do you call a car that’s a good listener? An Audi.
28. Why are cars bad storytellers? They only have one tail.
29. Why don’t cars get cold? They have plenty of antifreeze.
30. Did you hear about the car who won an award? It had a track record.
31. Why do cars never get hungry? They’re always full of gas.
32. Why did the car get a promotion? It had drive.
33. How does a car get its daily fiber? By eating street food.
34. What do cars do when they’re scared? They auto-hide.
35. What’s a car’s favorite day of the year? New Year’s Day – they love turning over a new leaf.
36. I tried to catch my car yesterday, but it drove away.
37. Why don’t cars ever get into trouble? They always follow the rules of the road.
38. I broke up with my car. We had too many break downs.
39. What do you call a car with two exhausts? Exhausted.
40. How do cars communicate? They horn in on conversations.
41. Why are cars so dramatic? They always brake for effect.
42. What kind of car does a cat drive? A Furrari.
43. My car runs on hope, powered by empty wallet syndrome.
44. How does a car get its hair done? At the car-wash.
45. Why did the car break up with its tires? It was tired of rolling.
46. My car never gets sick, it has a hard-steel constitution.
47. How do cars maintain their figure? They avoid carb-o-loading.
48. What do cars write their essays on? Vellum-vehicles.
49. What’s a car’s favorite type of poetry? Limericks, because they always have a good “brake”.
50. What does a car do when it loses its job? It retires.
51. What does a car call its dad? Pop-up hood.
52. What did the electric car say to the gas car? “You’re so negative!”
53. My car’s so cool, it always blows me away.
54. What do cars wear to formal events? An auto-tie.
55. What do cars do when they want a day off? They call in sick with “engine-itis”.
56. Why did the car go to the therapist? It had a breakdown.
57. Why are cars so self-centered? Because they’re always in the center of the road.
58. Why don’t cars ever get surprised? They always see what’s coming.
59. Why did the car go to the gym? It wanted to get a little more “vroom” in its engine.
60. How does a car propose to its lover? With a ring gear.
61. Why are cars bad at hide and seek? They always get spotted.
62. Why don’t cars get lost at sea? They have sail-nav.
63. Why do cars always take the blame? They can’t shift it.
64. What did the car say when it saw its old friend? Long time, no see-at.
65. Why don’t cars ever feel alone? They’re always surrounded by traffic.
66. Why don’t cars get into arguments? They always keep their calm and drive on.
67. How do cars get drunk? They guzzle too much fuel.
68. What do you call a lazy car? A procrastination station.
69. How does a car express love? It gives a “brake” heart.
70. What does a car do when it’s tired? It takes a brake.
71. What do cars use to keep their pants up? A seatbelt.
72. Why did the car go to the library? To read some auto-biographies.
73. What do cars do at parties? They raise their glasses.
74. Why did the car blush? It saw the gas pump.
75. What’s a car’s favorite movie? “Fast and the Furious.”
76. Why do cars always know the way? They keep their eyes on the road.
77. Why don’t cars ever forget? They have a memory chip.
78. How do cars sleep? They take pit stops.
79. Why don’t cars ever get fat? They always burn fuel.
80. What’s a car’s favorite instrument? The horn.
81. How do cars eat their food? Fast and furiously.
82. Why did the car get a ticket? It broke the speed limit.
83. How does a car keep its skin smooth? It gets a wax.
84. What does a car do when it gets home? It puts on the parking brake.
85. Why did the car join the circus? It wanted to be a clown car.
86. How does a car show affection? It beeps at you.
87. Why do cars like school? They get to learn in the fast lane.
88. How does a car get comfortable? It adjusts its seat.
89. What’s a car’s favorite drink? Gas-o-latte.
90. Why did the car go to the dentist? It had a cavity in its exhaust.
91. What do you call a car that tells jokes? A comic-cab.
92. Why don’t cars ever get lost? They always keep in lane.
93. How do cars stay safe? They always wear their seatbelt.
94. Why don’t cars ever cheat? They always follow the straight and narrow.
95. What does a car do when it’s stressed? It takes a deep breath of exhaust.
96. Why did the car get an F on its test? It couldn’t pass the emissions test.
97. How do cars like their eggs? Over-easy-rider.
98. Why did the car go to the casino? It was feeling wheel-y lucky.
99. What’s a car’s favorite sport? Racing.
100. Why don’t cars ever get old? They get a tune-up.

We hope you’ve had a blast exploring our repertoire of car jokes, and they’ve accelerated your day into high gear with laughter. Whenever you need a quick pick-me-up or want to bring a smile to a fellow car-lover’s face, this collection is here for you. Until our next comedic journey, keep the laughter in cruise control and enjoy the ride!